I actually solve it. For anyone looking for the same problem:
function [y,dx]=cov_der(x)
%simple example
%x=dlarray(and(3,3));
%[y,dx]=dlfeval(@cov_der,x)
y=zeros(size(x,2),size(x,2));
z=size(x,1);
y=dlarray(y);
for i=1:size(x,2)
for j=1:size(x,2)
y(i,j)=sum(x(:,i).*x(:,j))./z;
end
end
dx=zeros(size(x,2)*size(x,2),size(x,1),size(x,2));
index=1;
for i=1:size(x,2)
for j=1:size(x,2)
dx(index,:,:)=dlgradient(y(i,j),x,'EnableHigherDerivatives',true);
index=index+1;
end
end
end