This isn't really an optimization question, but a programming question. I am not an expert programmer. But I'll tell you wat I think anyway.
As part of your solver, you can create a structure of default option values. Then read in values from a user-supplied option structure to override the default values.
For case sensitivity, you can use the lower function with all strings to make everything case-insensitive.
Good luck,
Alan Weiss
MATLAB mathematical toolbox documentation