Suppose you have the following example:
x = -pi:.1:pi;
y = sin(x);
plot(x,y)
lx = xlabel('x');
ly = xlabel('y');
1. Change FontSize
set(gca,'FontSize',14)
2. Yes. When creating labels, store their handles into some variables, then use set(). See also get() and the useful inspect().
3. Yes. To control string properties see this link http://www.mathworks.co.uk/help/techdoc/ref/text_props.html#String
set(lx,'string','\it x')